Impostor

Trains howl in the middle of the night, reminding me of the emptiness in the city.

The sun comes up, just barely as I rise and I get the feeling that something isn't quite right.

I am not sure what this distress could be, other than a massive unsettling and lack of attachment.

My heart is with a person, but not with a place. I feel torn on my decisions.

Hindsight is 20/20, things were always better in the past and certainly in our future, but the present tense brings so much pensive gloom.

Portland reminds me of pensive gloom. It's a smart city that is perpetually grey. People come alive once the sun rises. People crawl out of their caves to live their lives once forgotten in a winter's past. The rain renews the green and the blue sky is better than any anti-depressant and these two dispositions mingle amongst the watery fronts, beards, beers and bikes to make a place. This place. Where I live.....

I crave more sunshine and friends and art and culture. I crave a sense of belonging.

BE-LONGING.

to be

longing.

I ask the universe for some peace and harmony. And some rest. Throw in some more blue sky too.