Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Thought for the day

There are no mistakes, just things that happen or don't happen.

Start with, End With

For once I am writing and in a good mood! haha.....I had a shitty day yesterday, just one of those days where nothing goes right, and now I feeling refreshed and happy, reveling in the fact that I have no control of certain things. Life is ok. Comparatively, life is fucking amazing.

Thanksgiving is coming soon, and I am so thankful for my friends, my bf, my small apt, the food i can buy and my job. The food bank line is getting long as we speak and it makes you realize, if people will wait outside for 6 hours in the cold for food, there level of need is different than yours.

How often do we put our blinders on? We get caught up in the bourgeois, the petty, the soulless.....if you have food, health, friends and shelter, we have life, we have love. We can only work for more, but we are not entitled to more.

We need to share more love, not hate.
Love yourself above anyone else.
Do one good thing a day.
Get some perspective.

what will all of this mean in 20 years? 50? 100? the constant pariah of time gnawing on our ephemeral souls and hearts. the moment is now.

take it.

make it yours.

find love in your world.


Friday, August 14, 2009

With teeth

I keep dreaming my teeth are falling out....what could this mean. Only in dreams.

Monday, July 27, 2009

quick draw

the last photos taken, the last money spent, there are no cures, only maladies in times like these, the mind is a trap, and a clever one at that, the destruction follows you around like a foul smell, just to let you know he is always there

climbing against walls of lemon eyes and sugar cane, the desert feeds my oblivious soul. there is nothing. fabricated non-truths, styled very well for verity's sake.

how is there more, but less, disintegrating, anger, finding, looking, always something, there is no letting go. cling out of fear, out of loneliness, out of curiosity.

i will find the way and the dream soon, just keep searching, don't let it get you down, all of this information, sinking into my brain, ignore the useless, we waste too much time, but im so busy, but i waste, im not productive enough, or pretty enough, enough enough ehough ive had enough! i can only be so so so so nice and i try, i do, walk please

towards me, my love, i want you need you feel you live never before under the stars of my skin and the universe of my heart


i think so.

it happened before.


you never liked it.

no, you didn't.

how could he

how could she

not possible

it could only happen to you

you are the prettiest

you are the best

if the world ends now, i want to be in your arms.

so, find me.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I hope he is right

Moving, loving, escaping reality, or by escaping we mean running with our eyes closed.

He doesn't want me. He doesn't need me. I am a joke, a young toy to play with, but nothing else.

I'm too old, he sees me dying on the inside, it is not secret.

There is too much pain in this world.

I try to let it go.

But it lingers

like a heavy weight

upon a heart that was never quite sure of itself.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Best. Quote. Ever.

At a cafe and i overhear, "I look like freaking R2D2 on crack!..............it was a very enjoyous experience"


Monday, May 11, 2009


What are we besides a puddle of social conditions and stimuli? what is it that makes us actually us? do we find things sexy because they really are or we are conditioned to think so....been in a contemplative mood lately. pensive as hell, thoughts meandering on the mindless terrain of obsession.

i want to create something real. i want to feel this way forever. i keep sliding back to the memories, back and forth, good and bad and remembering what could be.....

sometimes you just wonder








for you



think for yourself




do that

i am

i am not

i am not sure.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Following the follower, sinking below

I'm so lame about this blog. Been traveling to Death Valley, SF, Salton Sea, and oh so beautiful Riverside. Shot my first experimental film with my friend. Learned a bit of dark room. Good times to be had.

i still don't know what the hell i want...what i am doing. constant push, pulls, lonely hammerings of melancholic memories.

i want to travel more, worry less.
i want more coffee and booze, but should drink tea.
Fucking capitalism ass rapes people, we are slaves to it.
hyper active mind fucking keep analytical booty in tact.
memories flushing out of toilets, love overflowing hearts in hands of time that passes on to each other again and again, when will the pattern end, moving towards nothing, but everything is happening, no time to think, just go, i just want to sleep a bit, maybe make some love with that guy i love so much and cocoon myself into nothingness. yes i used cocoon as a verb.

so there.

Saturday, March 21, 2009